


Do not try these techniques at home without first consulting a professional

by Demishka



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Animal Transformation, Big Bang Challenge, Dogs, Gen, Silly, really very cracky, with a hint of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-06
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2018-01-07 16:29:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1122040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demishka/pseuds/Demishka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel thinks Crowley shouldn't take himself so seriously and plays a trick to help him loosen up. Unfortunately it backfires and turns them both into Chihuahuas. That wouldn't be so bad if they hadn't ended up in Sioux Falls where there seems to be a lot of Dogs and their owners turning up dead... Throw in Bobby, the Boys and Cesar Milan and it all gets quite interesting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

[](http://s5.photobucket.com/albums/y189/worth_it/?action=view&current=2s10pybjpg.png)

Header by satavaisa :D

“This is really not going at all like I planned” Gabriel sighed lying down on the hard concrete floor of the Sioux Falls pound. Dogs whined and barked up and down the kennels.

“Really?”, Crowley growled “Whatever did you think was going to happen?”

“Well, I thought it was gonna be a bit of fun”, Gabriel whined “Plus, it was only supposed to be _you_ that turned into a Chihuahua!”

“Only me?!”, Crowley barked and trotted over to Gabriel baring his teeth “Why am I not eviscerating you right now?”

“My charismatic and debonair charm?”

“What _charm_ , Angel?” Crowley growled. “What if I rip your scrawny little throat out right now?”

“Goooosh!” Gabriel huffed “I knew you needed a time out! King of hell?! Purgatory? Really, Crowley, how the hell did you get lumped with all that?”

Crowley just stared at Gabriel and could feel a facial tick coming on. Could dogs get those?

“Pun intended” Gabriel added, lolling his tongue out the side of his mouth. 

“I hate you so very, very much.” 

“Don’t be such a drama queen”, Gabriel laughed. “You make Cas look like he’s the relaxed one.”

Crowley spent a few moments despairing the rapid downfall of his life, due to one Archangel, and wonders whatever possessed him to go out and find the damn loon after Castiel had so nicely ‘toasted’ him with great theatrics. 

“Do you know what they do to strays in the pound, Gabriel?” Crowley trotted over to the door and stuck his nose through.

“I’ve not spent that much time as a dog in a pound yet” Gabriel snorted and rolled over onto his back.

“Obviously”, Crowley snarled “It’s not somewhere I want to be for any period of time. Dogs that come in here that aren’t neutered? Get neutered. Then they try to pawn them off on whatever idiot that walks through the door.” 

“Oh come on, Crowley! It’s not that bad...” Gabriel trailed off as he looked out of their cage.

“Neutered, Gabriel. NEUTERED!” Crowley yipped at the little brown Chihuahua. 

Gabriel was quiet for a couple of moments and Crowley thought that maybe he managed to get through to the boneheaded Archangel. 

There’s the sound of footsteps echoing further inside the complex and Crowley perked his ears up to listen.

“I’ll get us out. No problem” Gabriel leapt up and scampered up to the door next to Crowley. 

“How is that genius?” Crowley sighed and backed away from the opening. “Know how to snap your doggy paws?”

“Aha ha ha very funny.” Gabriel perked his ears forward and starts to waggle his tail “Watch and learn, young Padawan”

Crowley heard a door open but couldn’t see it from his vantage point in the concrete cell. At least three people entered the hall and one of them was speaking.

“And you have found there has been an increase in these incidents? Are any related?” 

No. There was no way his luck could get any worse today. 

But there they were. 

The Winchesters.

Fuck.

“How’s that for a co-inky dink?” Gabriel grinned “The boys are here!”

Crowley was torn between being furious and mortifyingly embarrassed. The Winchesters continued their conversation with the pound officer while Crowley glared at Gabriel’s back.

“I am going to kill you so many different ways, Gabriel” Crowley growled. “I’m going to entertain myself for _centuries_ thinking of unusual ways to cause you pain.” 

“Shhhhh!” Gabriel jumped up on his hind legs and wined pitifully. “I’m working my magic!”

Sam Winchester leant down and filled the whole doorway with his gigantic body. He looked at Gabriel all starry-eyed and pathetic. Crowley couldn't help barking in disgust. Sam gave him a quick, annoyed glance before looking over his shoulder to Dean. 

“Look at this, Dean”, Sam gushed. “Isn’t he so cute?”

“Uh, sure. For a rodent” Dean grunted, leaning down slightly as the officer opens the cage and Sam picks up Gabriel. Gabriel’s tiny form is almost lost in the moose’s freakishly large arms but this doesn’t seem to be a problem for Gabriel, who is pulling out all the stops by licking Sam and being as sickeningly cute as possible.

Crowley blanched and thinks he might just vomit.

“We found them both not too far from here. We tried to put them in different cages but they kicked up such a fuss that we just let them be.” Kromley, as his badge identified him, said. Crowley’s going to remember this guy for his hell hounds when he gets out of this mess. 

“The brown one is quite tame, but the little black and white one here is vicious. He’s already got the nickname ‘El Diablo’”, Kromley continued. Crowley was amused at the name. 

He could smell the fear coming off Officer Kromley in waves and it’s putting him on edge. As a demon, he could always tell when someone was uncomfortable or lying. It was a necessary skill in his line of work, but this was something else entirely. He could feel it, the fear and unease and it was turning his stomach inside out. 

Crowley jumped forward and barked, snapping his teeth at the officer. The guy scrambled backwards slightly.

“Gotta give the little guy props”, Dean chuckled. “He’s looks pretty mean for a toy dog.”

“Sooo...” Sam said, giving Dean what looked like his best puppy dog look while stroking Gabriel. “Just this one?”

Gabriel yipped and struggled in Sam’s arms while Crowley wasn’t too proud to admit he was having a mild panic attack.

“Don’t you dare leave me here, Gabriel!” Crowley jumped forward again and Kromley jerked backward, removing himself from the entryway to the tiny cell altogether. 

“They’re kind of a package deal...” Kromley said weakly from behind Sam and Crowley feels a moment of pride that he can still frighten humans in this form.

“Woah woah!”, Dean held up a hand and glared at Sam, “I did not agree to even one dog”

“Come on, Dean!” Sam lifted Gabriel up and made a pouty face. “He’s so cute!”

Dean stared at his brother for a few seconds, then down to Crowley.

“Stop growling!”, Gabriel barked. “Do you want to get left behind?” 

“Shut up, angel!”, Crowley barked back and all the humans recoiled slightly. 

“Crowley!”

“This is all your fault!”, Crowley barked, baring his teeth, “My whole dominion falling down around my feet because _you got BORED!_ ” 

“I’ll fix it I promise!” Gabriel pleaded wriggling in Sam’s embrace. Dean’s eyebrows are almost at his hairline and Officer Kromley is back, trying to inch the door closed.

“Bugger this!”, Crowley snarled and skittered out of the cage. 

“Crowley!”, Gabriel called from behind him as he scampered down the hall. The dogs in the cages went crazy, barking and throwing themselves against the doors. 

Crowley wasn’t even sure where he was going so when he was suddenly confronted by a massive mongrel dog, he skidded to a halt, a distressed yip exiting his throat. 

The thing was gigantic. Slobber dripped from its jaws, scars crisscrossed its face. It almost reminded him of one of his hounds.

Was this how his existence was going to end? 

Stuck as a Chihuahua and dying by mutilation. Fabulous. 

At least the whole burning bones thing was flashy. This was just plain pathetic.

He’d always planned on never dying. In fact Crowley went out of his way to make sure if someone was standing in front of the firing squad, it was most definitely not his pretty ass. He was very good at manipulating situations to his favour and, if by some horrible twist of fate that failed, he’d run. Run fast and hide well. 

Extremely well.

Either option wasn’t looking too good in his current predicament. Nowhere to hide and no way to manipulate.

Oh well, the least he could do is try his luck at taking the thing down. Crowley bared his teeth at the creature, ready to pounce. 

The hulking thing made a rather terrifying snarl and went to leap forward when Crowley had the sensation of being lifted. He struggled for a moment before realising he’d been picked up and saved from death by Dean Winchester.

“Stay!”, Dean snapped at the ugly beast while holding Crowley close to his chest.

How humiliating. Saved by a Winchester. And Dean Winchester no less. 

“Jeezus, dog, you have some balls!” Dean chuckled, striding back to where Sam was. They passed the officer inching forward with a restraining collar for the beast. 

“Huh”, Sam huffed as they approached, a smirk on his face “Guess you’re coming around to the idea?”

“What? No”, Dean said then shrugged, petting Crowley absent-mindedly “Yes, maybe. Well, I couldn’t just let the little guy be dog food”

“Uhuh”, Sam said, grinning “I think he likes you.”

Crowley blinked blearily at Sam. He wanted to be offended and disgusted at that remark but Dean was patting him and sending out an aura of calm that made him all relaxed and sleepy. He couldn’t allow himself to get used to this.

“Huh, looks like”, Dean said, his voice a low rumble in his chest, and Crowley hated himself for it but he snuggled in deeper to Dean’s arms and huffed out a breath, his eyes closing.

“That’s it, buddy! Work it!”, Gabriel yipped from Sam’s direction. 

“Shhhh”, Dean hissed and continued stroking Crowley’s back. “Alright, fine! We’ll keep 'em.”

“Yes! You won’t regret it, Dean”, Sam said, and then they were on the move. Crowley didn’t much care as long as he got to stay comfortable and warm. 

“You’re all bark and no bite, huh, fella?”, Dean rumbled softly “El Diablo is a crap name. I’m gonna name you Zeppelin”

::::::

Crowley watched on in sleepy amusement as Sam tried to squeeze the life out of Gabriel.

“We’re not children, Bobby”, Sam pouted. “We’ll figure it out.”

“Like hell!” Bobby snorted. “I’ll tell ya what’s gonna end up happening...”

Crowley snickered from his position curled up on Dean’s chest. Bobby and Sam had been going at it for the better part of half an hour with Gabriel stuck in Sam’s death grip.

“Please let it end”, Gabriel whined, “Crowley! Do something!”

“I have no idea what you think I can do, mate.”, Crowley mumbled. “Nip at Gigantor’s toes?”

“I don’t care! Just get him to unhand me!”

Crowley huffed in amusement before shifting slightly as Dean turned his head to take in the ongoing conversation.

“-then I’ll be left to deal with them!”, Bobby ranted. Sam’s face was set in a frown as he cuddled the brown Chihuahua. It was really rather pathetic the way the tallest Winchester held on for dear life to an animal as big as one of his misshapen hands. Bobby gave glaring another shot, but it seemed like neither Winchester was budging and he finally threw his hands up with a sigh. 

“Fine, ya idjits, keep em and see how that turns out for ya.”

Dean snorted, causing Crowley to bounce and growl threateningly as he rearranged himself. 

“Sam put the dog down before you crush it”, Dean said as he settled back down on the couch and patted Crowley.

“Never thought I’d be saved from a crushing death by Dean Winchester”, Gabriel scoffed as he skittered away into the lounge and looked up to where Crowley was lying.

“Tell me about it”, Crowley snorted, “Embarrassing, isn’t it?”

“Well, perhaps not as bad as letting said Winchester fondle me...” Gabriel snickered as Crowley glared down at him. 

“Get bent, Angel” Crowley barked. “I _let_ him pet me. It’s an honour”

“Zeppelin!” Dean tapped Crowley on the nose. “No barking.”

While Crowley spluttered in shocked rage, he could hear Gabriel laughing for all he was worth on the floor.

“Shut up!” Crowley launched off Dean’s chest and landed on Gabriel just as he rolled over with laughter and proceeded to try inflicting as much damage as possible. Dean and Sam squawked in surprise and, before Crowley could cause any serious injuries, he was lifted and Dean held him against his chest. 

“Bad!”, Sam growled, glaring at Crowley while cuddling Gabriel. 

“Oh bugger off, moose”, Crowley muttered sulkily from Dean’s restricting embrace. Dean laughed, received his own glare from Gigantor. 

“Chill, Sam” Dean chuckled and lightened his grip, “I’m sure they were just playing”

“I hate you so very much right now” Gabriel wheezed from where he was being crushed in Sam’s arms.

“Feeling’s mutual, bastard” Crowley growled and huffed out a sigh. “Stay the hell away from me.”

“Fine! Go be best buddies with your _Master_ Winchester”, Gabriel barked. Crowley didn’t even dignify that with an answer. In fact, Crowley hoped Gigantor squeezed Gabriel till he popped. 

“What are you gonna feed them?”, Bobby called from the library. “I ain’t got any dog food”

Oh, sweet Lucifer. There’s no way he’s going to ingest anything he can’t identify. From 5 star chefs to Eukanuba? 

No way in hell. 

“We’ll go into town”, Dean shrugged. 

“Get hoppin then. Pick up something for dinner, too”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dean popped Crowley down on the couch before he grabbed his keys and ambled towards the door. Crowley jumped down from the couch and skittered after Dean, running right into Gabriel. 

“Watch it!”, Crowley snapped.

“You watch it!” Gabriel growled and bumped Crowley.

“Stop being such a child, Gabriel!” Crowley nipped Gabriel’s flank and chuckled when the Archangel jumped.

“Be good, boys!” Sam called as he shut the door. Crowley barked in frustration.

::::::

“Bobby’s right you know”, Dean sighed as he squinted at the label on a dog food can. “Our lifestyle doesn’t really lend itself to having dogs”

“We’ll figure it out. Besides, it’s not like they’re huge Labradors”, Sam said, further down the aisle and Dean looked up to see him scrutinising a couple of those expensive. pampered-pup meals. 

“What about when we’re on the road? Out on a hunt?” Dean chucked a few cans in their basket. Sam looked down at them and frowned.

Dean glanced at the label on the tin Sam was holding “Precious Pup? Seriously? What’s in this thing?”

“Hey!”, Sam protested as Dean swiped the tin.

“Organic Brown Rice Flour? Are you kidding me?” Dean snorted and dodged Sam’s attempts to snatch it back. 

“They have special needs, Dean” Sam huffed as he finally managed to wrench the tin from Dean’s grip. 

“Bull. If I’m keeping Zeppelin, he’s getting Chum” Dean tapped the can in the basket.

“Zeppelin huh?” Sam grinned at him. Dean rolled his eyes, plucked the tin out of Sam’s hands and chucked it into the basket.

“So? El Diablo was a crap name.” 

“Just saying.” Sam shrugged, not bothering to hide his grin.

“Well what’d you come up with genius?” Dean said and moved down towards the rows of dry dog food. “Something nerdy like ‘Spock’?”

Dean chuckled as he pulled a packet of biscuits from the shelf.

“Ah no, and Star Trek is totally your thing.” Sam raised an eyebrow at him while he put the packet Dean had picked up back on the shelf. Dean opened his mouth to protest then shut it and frowned. Fair call. 

“Fine, can we just get this stuff and leave already?” Dean groaned and trudged off down the aisle not waiting for Sam. 

“New puppies?”

Dean looked over to the guy behind the counter. Sam cleared his throat and flicked a glance between Dean and the guy.

“Yeah, uh, Chihuahuas. We rescued them from the pound.” Sam smiled good naturedly. 

“That’s brilliant.” 

Dean squinted at the guys name tag.

“Well, we couldn’t let them get put down, big dog lovers us”, Dean told Larry while he gestured between Sam and himself. 

Sam turned slightly and gave him a bitch face. Dean watched Larry’s face as he looked between the two of them.

“Oh.” Larry nodded and smiled, “That’s nice. Do you live around here?”

“Just out of town.”, Dean said, smiling.

“Well then, make sure you keep them inside and always walk them on leash”

“Why?” Dean leaned forward “Something eating stray dogs?”

Larry looked extremely uncomfortable suddenly and finished packing their supplies hurriedly.

“There have been some rather odd...” - Larry paused obviously searching for the right words - “...disappearances recently, but I’ve not heard most of the details”

“Sounds horrible”, Sam said, pulling out his best sympathy face. Dean schooled his face into a serious expression and nodded.

“So how many 'disappearances' have there been?” Dean pulled their shopping closer as Sam finished paying. 

Larry shook his head while shoving the money in the till. “I’m not sure. Sandra would though.” 

“Sandra?”

“Yeah, she works at the Precious Puppy Dog Spa.” Larry smiled closing the till. “Everyone who has a dog goes there”

“Every man and his dog go there, huh?” Dean grinned and dodged Sam’s elbow. 

“Yeah, that’s what I said...” Larry said his face was scrunched up in confusion. Dean cleared his throat and put on his serious face again. 

“Yes.” Dean nodded and grabbed their bag. “Thanks, Larry”

::::::

“Alright, what do we need, Gabriel?” Crowley paced in the living area. “Bones? Blood? Souls?”

“Huh?” Gabriel lifted his head from where he was relaxing on the couch. “For what?”

“To get us out of this disgusting mess”, Crowley growled. 

“Get off the couch”, Bobby huffed from his position behind his desk. Gabriel turned to look at him and raised an ear.

“Watch this.”, Gabriel said and lay his head back down.

“I said off the couch, mutt!” Bobby raised his voice slightly. “Just cause Sam is all soft on ya don’t mean I have to be.”

“I don’t understand what you’re asking me”, Gabriel sing-songed as he snuggled into the couch. “I’m just a harmless puppy!”

“Gabriel!”, Crowley barked, “Focus please!”

“Come on, Crowley! This is fun!” 

“Don’t make me come over there!”, Bobby growled and shifted out of his seat. Crowley gritted his teeth and tried to count to ten.

“Gabriel, I’m not playing”, Crowley said and moved out of the way as Bobby approached the couch to stand over Gabriel. 

“All work and no play make Crowley a dull boy.” Gabriel rolled over and wagged his paws in the air. Bobby laughed and put his hands on his hips. Crowley sighed and sat down. Once Gabriel set his mind on something, he wasn’t easily swayed.

Bobby shook his head and bent down “Don’t matter how cute you make yourself look - off the couch!”

“Make me.”, Gabriel grinned, sticking his tongue out. Bobby sighed and looked over his shoulder to Crowley.

“Can you talk to your buddy, Zeppelin?”, Bobby muttered and looked back to Gabriel.

“You’re joking, right?” Crowley huffed “Bastard won’t listen to me.”

“Awww, Crowley, don’t be that way!” Gabriel whined and turned back to be on his belly. “I’ve just gotta figure this thing out, then I’ll be able to snap us back, I swear!”

“And what does that entail, Angel?”, Crowley tilted his head, “Because this is getting old fast.”

“Does Sam have a name for you yet?”, Bobby muttered to himself and picked Gabriel up.

“Hey!” Gabriel wiggled. “Hands off, Handsy!” 

“He did tell you to get off the couch, Gabriel.”

“Like you would’ve!”

“No. But I go about these things in a different and more sophisticated manner.”

Outside, Crowley heard the sound of the Impala as it approached. 

“Good news, Gabriel, your precious Sam is back for more rib popping snuggles”, Crowley chuckled and watched Gabriel freeze for a moment before wriggling out of Bobby’s arms.

“Hell on a pogo stick, dog”, Bobby growled and managed to guide Gabriel to the ground without letting him fall.

Crowley snorted, “I would’ve let him drop.”

“Hide! Quick! I can’t take any more of that!” Gabriel skittered into the next room and Crowley rolled his eyes.

“Moron”, Crowley huffed and trotted towards the door as he heard the unmistakable sound of the Impala’s doors being slammed shut. The Winchesters stomped their way to the door and swung it open, barely missing Crowley as he came to an abrupt halt. 

“What the hell is this?” Dean held up the pound papers and Sam snatched them away quickly.

“Nothing.” Sam folded the paper up and glared when Dean started to chuckle.

“Sooo”, Dean grinned. “Snookums is nothing?”

“It’s not like I named him that.”, Sam huffed and looked down at Crowley as they entered the house. 

“Seriously though”, Dean grinned, “Snookums?”

“Stop saying that!”, Sam said though gritted teeth. Crowley smirked in amusement. He would take pleasure in this for years.

“Oh, Gabriel!”, Crowley crowed as he moved off to find the terrified Chihuahua “Come out, come out”

“Keep it down”, Gabriel hissed as he stuck his head out from behind a pile of books.

“Whatever you say, Snookums.”

“Since when do you call me Snookums, Sweetlips?”

“Since it was officially your name” Crowley grinned and took great pleasure in saying again. “Snookums!”

“What?”

“On paper the pound called you ‘Snookums’” Crowley huffed when Gabriel didn’t seem to be getting as worked up as he wanted him to be. 

“Huh”, Gabriel smiled, “Well I’ll be whatever you wanna call me, cherry pie.”

“Urgh”, Crowley glared at the Angel and sat down. “You are no fun”

“Aww, did I ruin your chance to gloat?”

“Zeppelin?”, Dean called and Crowley’s eye twitched.

“Oops! Master’s calling”, Gabriel chuckled and dodged out of the way when Crowley tried to nip him. “Play nice!”

Crowley growled and followed Gabriel as he went into the kitchen.

“Hey there, buddy” Dean smiled. Crowley narrowed his eyes and watched as Sam tipped some sort of gelatinous mass into a bowl.

“Oh dear God, what is that?” Crowley backed up horrified. Gabriel looked equally as disgusted but he tried to keep his tone cheerful.

“Maybe we shouldn’t judge by looks?”

Bobby moved about the kitchen in the background as Sam put down two bowls. Gabriel moved forward cautiously to one of the bowls and hesitantly stuck his nose in.

“It’s not that bad”, Gabriel said and Crowley didn’t believe him for a second.

“I will never be that hungry.” Crowley looked on disgusted as Gabriel rather delicately picked at the bowl of dog food Sam had put down.

“He’s not eating”, Dean whispered to Sam who shrugged. Dean stooped down, picked up the other food bowl, and moved over to where Crowley sat.

“Here, Zeppelin.” Dean put the bowl down in front of him.

“Urgh” Crowley backed up “It’s even worse up close” 

“Looks like you got a ‘Princess’”, Bobby huffed amused.

“Yeah, well I don’t blame the guy. This stuff looks disgusting” Dean sighed then stared down at Crowley.

“One missed meal won’t kill him.” Bobby plonked their plates on the table. “Grub’s up.”

Crowley didn’t appreciate Bobby’s flippancy on the matter. In protest, he decided he would chew up Bobby’s favourite cap. He amended the plan of chewing it when he decided that hiding it outside under a pile of dirt would be less disgusting. Lucifer knows where that cap has been. Dean looked down at him in sympathy before he headed to the table and sat down. 

Well, there was no way he was going to eat whatever mashed up mystery meat Moose had put into those bowls no matter how hungry he was. Crowley could hear Gabriel gagging from across the room.

“Oh God, I lied”, Gabriel retched, “It’s horrible! Disgusting!”

Crowley watched as the hunters all began to eat their food. Bugger that. Crowley jumped up into Dean’s lap and stuck his head over onto his plate.

“Hey! Zeppelin!” Dean squawked surprised, and Sam almost choked as he laughed. Crowley managed to steal a few mouthfuls of food before Dean picked him up. 

“No dogs at the table, Dean.” Bobby said while he kept eating. Sam shook his head while he smiled. Dean got up and carried Crowley with him.

“I didn’t invite the guy.”, Dean grumbled and set Crowley down next to Gabriel. 

“Smoooooth!”, Gabriel laughed then made a face, “Urgh I can still taste it” 

“Be good” Dean said and patted Crowley on the head. 

“Really, Gabriel, that is disgusting” Crowley groaned as Gabriel licked himself. 

“I’m trying to get rid of the taste of the food”, Gabriel mumbled his tongue still sticking out.

“Charming”, Crowley sighed.

It didn’t take long for Crowley to grow bored of watching the humans eat and he wandered away to the couch.

::::::

Crowley sighed as he tried to ignore the sound of Gabriel running around in circles chasing his tail. Dean chucked and scratched Crowley behind the ears.

“Well I’m off idjits”, Bobby huffed and lumbered off upstairs. 

Sam scooped up Gabriel before he even had the chance to scramble away. 

“Please don’t squeeze me again”, Gabriel cried and wriggled about. Crowley couldn’t help laughing until he too was picked up by Dean.

“Time for bed”, Dean yawned and made his way to the stairs. 

“Should I be worried?” Crowley fussed for a moment before shrugging and decided to see what happened. Crowley was oddly lulled by Dean’s swaying gait. He tried to remember that he was supposed to be busy finding a way to get out of this mess, to get back to Hell and secure his place as the new King.  
Dean put down Crowley on a mat in the bedroom and shuffled off to get ready for bed. Crowley shook himself and jumped up onto the bed. He most certainly was not sleeping on the floor. Crowley padded around in a circle then paused. He’d always had a passing curiosity as to wondering why his hounds circled before they curled up on the floor. Crowley shrugged and curled up on the bed, wriggling to get comfortable. 

“Aww Zepp” Dean sighed in exasperation. Crowley didn’t move but he could hear the eldest Winchester shift around a bit before he must have just given up and he climbed into bed. 

“Don’t think this is going to be a regular thing”, Dean grumbled and Crowley huffed as he rearranged himself.

There was no way any of this was lessening his dislike for the Winchester brothers.

Crowley kept telling himself that he tolerated these morons because he wanted to be comfortable and warm.

::::::

Crowley pressed his nose against the glass of the window.

“What is it?” Gabriel put his nose against the window and snorted. The window misted up and Crowley pulled back.

“It’s the Sheriff.” He jumped down from the table and trotted over to the door.

“The Sheriff?”

Crowley could hear Gabriel wiping his nose against the glass.

“Why is he coming here?”

“She”, Crowley corrected as he watched Gabriel squeak his nose around the glass “Sheriff Jodie Mills. She knew  
Bobby primarily as the town drunk, but a few recent incidences have given her a crash course in the supernatural.”

“Really?” Gabriel pulled his face away from the glass and looked down to Crowley “How do you know all this?”

“Professional curiosity”, Crowley shrugged and turned back to the door “It pays to keep an eye on these things.”

“Right” Gabriel snorted and Crowley didn’t bother to glance back at him.

“I’m sure it’s just professional.” Gabriel stressed out the last word.

Crowley did turn to look at Gabriel then.

“What are you on about?” 

Gabriel shrugged and jumped down to be face to face with Crowley.

“Nothin’, just seems like you have an interest in one Bobby Singer.”

“Of course I do”, Crowley said, exasperated.

“Of course you do”, Gabriel mimicked and Crowley shook his head, confused.

“What is your problem, Gabriel?” 

“I’ve got no problem” Gabriel huffed and trotted off into the next room. 

“Infuriating!” Crowley growled and almost jumped when there was a knock on the door.

“Bobby you home?” Sheriff Mills called through the door.

“Comin’” Bobby answered and stomped towards the door. Crowley growled and skittered backwards as Bobby nearly stepped on him. 

“Zeppelin, git out the way” Bobby grumbled and swung the door open.

“Well would you look at that!” Sheriff Mills laughed. Crowley assumed it was at the sight of a grumpy, flannel-clad Bobby in the doorway with two very small dogs. Gabriel’s big ears were twitching with the excitement of a visitor. 

“I know you were thinking of getting another Rottweiler after Rumsfeld disappeared, but are you sure these dogs aren’t too dangerous for you, Bobby?”

Bobby snorted as he turned and led the way into the kitchen. Crowley gave the Sheriff a glance before he followed after Bobby with Gabriel at his side. He could hear the Sheriff as she tried not to laugh out loud behind them.

“I knew you and the boys would be doing some unusual things while looking into the attacks on the dogs in town, but I didn’t expect you to get dogs yourself.” She bent down and added in a sing-song voice: “Such small and very cute little doggies” 

Her remark brought a smile to Bobby’s bearded face.

“Yeah. It’s kinda funny how most people seem to regress to baby talk when they see them.” He slid his eyes sideways towards Sheriff Mills. She abruptly straightened up, wiping the daft smile off her face. Crowley snickered.

“Coffee?” Bobby asked, his tone mildly apologetic.

“He must feel bad for taking his Chihuahua-induced bad temper out on her”, Gabriel whispered as he sat. Crowley didn’t much care.

“Thanks”, she replied as she took a seat at the kitchen table. “I came to tell you that the auditions for Cesar Milan’s Dog Whisperer show will be held at the town hall for the next couple of days. Should be a good venue for getting some decent information.”

“What? The Dog Whisperer in Sioux Falls? I didn’t know he was coming here.” Bobby huffed with a look of surprise.

“How do you not know about it?” She responded “There are posters all over town and people have been talking of nothing else. Well, except for the attacks on the townspeople and their dogs” She stopped and thought for a moment, while Bobby placed a cup in front of her.

“I haven’t been into town for a couple of weeks” Bobby answered. He continued when she started to ask another question, “And I’m too busy to listen to nattering and gossip.” At her disbelieving look he added, “I’ve had a few ‘other’ things keeping me occupied and my mind elsewhere.”

“I suppose it’s no coincidence that the two most important events in this town are centered on dogs?” She frowned into her coffee.

She wasn’t a dumb woman, Crowley thought as he listened to them continue to talk. She knew a little, but didn’t understand all that Bobby was involved in. Despite her limited experience, it seemed she had a very healthy respect for what he and the Winchester boys dealt with. Realising that some things were beyond her had been an unpleasant and humbling experience. Still, she was smart enough to utilise those people who did, and could take care of those things that went bump in the night. 

“It is right interesting that we have something attacking dogs and their owners in a town that is going to be on the Dog Whisperer show” Bobby went on to consider the matter. “It is either a mighty big coincidence, or there is something more to it”

Crowley turned to Gabriel and asked, “What is this Dog Whisperer show? And why is Robert so awestruck?”

“Don’t you have cable in Hell?” Gabriel grinned, then continued in a Mexican accent: “He rehabilitates dogs and trains people.”

Crowley looked at Gabriel in incomprehension for a moment before Gabriel jumped up and waggled his tail.

“I’m gonna make the Sheriff my new best friend”, Gabriel exclaimed and made a running leap to land on the Sheriff’s lap. Some of her coffee splashed out of her mug as she jolted with a cry of shock. She spilt most of it in her lap and partly on Gabriel. 

“Snookums!“ Bobby exclaimed and stood abruptly. Crowley fell over laughing and noticed that, even though she was brushing the coffee off herself, the Sheriff was laughing also.

“Oh, Bobby” She giggled and accepted the cloth a red-faced Bobby handed her “Snookums?” 

“Ain't my dog”, Bobby muttered picking up the coffee cups and putting them in the sink. Crowley had recovered from his laughing fit to watch in exasperation as Gabriel jumped around the Sheriff, yipping and barking. 

“That’s just sad, Angel.” Crowley sighed and shook his head.

“She might-”, Gabriel panted between leaps, “-know what’s – Going on!”

“Obviously, she’s come here to find out what Robert has figured out”, Crowley snorted. “She knows nothing more than we do.”

“You sure?”

Crowley ignored the crazy Archangel and concentrated again on the humans. The Sheriff was handing the cloth back to Bobby as she watched Gabriel bounce around with bemused interest. 

“He seems to be a bit taken with you.” Bobby huffed, throwing the cloth in the sink. 

“I still can’t believe the boys have Chihuahuas” She shook her head and pointed to Crowley. “I’m guessing the more sedate, glowering one is Dean’s?”

“Yep, calls it Zeppelin,” Bobby stared at Crowley for a few moments, “Still can hardly believe it myself.”

“Well, give me a call if you need me, Robert.” Sheriff Mills nodded to Bobby and sidestepped around Gabriel, heading for the door. 

“Zeppelin.” She nodded to Crowley then looked over to Gabriel, unable to keep a straight face and said in a cooing voice, “Snookums.”

Crowley could hear her laughing all the way to her car as Bobby sighed and looked down at them.

“Those boys better figure out how they’re gonna take care of you walking slipper dogs.” Bobby wandered over to his couch and muttered “Ridiculous” under his breath.

Crowley heard the flicker of the television being turned on and with a quick glance at Gabriel, who was back to chasing his tail or whatever caught his eye, Crowley decided to join Robert.

Bobby flicked between the channels. Crowley had secured a couch cushion to himself and was contented in idly watching the picture flicker. Bobby flicked past a few movies and various ads before he came to rest on Tori & Dean: Inn Love. Crowley huffed amused and turned to look at the hunter. Bobby sensed his movement and looked down.

“What?”, Bobby said gruffly, obviously noticing the amused look Crowley was trying to convey. “It’s a good show.”

“Whatever you say, Robert” Crowley snorted and curled himself up again.

“Sometimes, I swear I understand what you’re saying” Bobby mumbled.

::::::

“What cha doin’?”, Gabriel nudged Crowley with his nose. Crowley opened one eye and bared his teeth at Gabriel.

“None of your business”, Crowley said and closed his eye again.

“I’m bored”, Gabriel whined, nudging Crowley again. “Come on, lets go explore.”

“Whatever for?”, Crowley murmured and tried to ignore Gabriel as much as possible.

“Who knows what secrets Bobby has hidden around here. We have the perfect cover” 

Crowley’s ears perked up at this.

“We can steal all his favourite caps and bury them outside”, Gabriel wheedled and huffed when Crowley didn’t move again. “I promise I will not stop annoying you until you agree.” 

Crowley opened his eyes and raised his head. 

“Alright, fine” Crowley hopped up and stretched out.

“Awesome”, Gabriel yipped “Race ya!”

The little brown Chihuahua zoomed off down the corridor while Crowley shook his head. Bobby stuck his head over the couch and eyeballed Crowley for a moment before looking out towards the kitchen.

“Where’s the other one then?”, he murmured to himself, then grumbled something about not getting over how stupid a name like Snookums was.

“Crowley!”, Gabriel barked from the other room. Bobby looked back down at him, a suspicious look in his narrowed eyes. Crowley waited for the old hunter to sit up and suddenly proclaim that he knew who Crowley was. 

Or produce a shotgun. 

But all Bobby did was shrug and turn away.

“Crowley, Crowley, Crowley!”, Gabriel chanted using a different voice for each time he said his name “Crowley! Crowley! Crowley! Crowley! Croooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowleeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!!”

“Jeeez, Snookums! Quiet!” Bobby growled in the general direction of the stairs and Gabriel stopped. 

For about five seconds “CROOOWLEEEEEEY!!”

“Shut it, Angel, I’m coming!”, Crowley snapped and trotted off towards Gabriel. The Angel really needed to develop a sense of patience. 

“Finally!” Gabriel jumped up from where he’d been rolling around on the floor of Bobby’s room.

“I see I minor flaw in your plan, Gabriel.” Crowley sat down and stared at the hyper Angel jumping about the room. “Having no opposable thumbs means getting into cupboards and the such impossible.”

“Have a little faith, Crowley.” Gabriel mumbled distractedly as he wiggled his bum and stared at the top drawer.

“I’m a demon, Angel.“ Crowley narrowed his eyes as he watched Gabriel tense up obviously ready to jump. “I don’t do faith.”

Gabriel ignored his statement and jumped. Crowley watched as the small Chihuahua made it to the second drawer, wiggled in the air for a few moments then fall back to the floor in a heap.

“Okay.” Gabriel got back up and crouched in front of the drawers again “Okay, I’ve got this”

“Really?” 

“Noooo problemo!” Gabriel jumped again. Crowley gave up watching the Angel’s failed attempts and explored the rest of the room. Digging up dirt on the Winchesters' most trusted ally would be priceless. He’d gotten to know a lot about Robert Singer in the many months he’d had his soul but this was behind enemy lines. 

It also gave him the opportunity to get back at Singer for, well, everything he wanted to blame on the old hunter.

::::::

After the debacle that was Gabriel trying to get into Bobby’s drawers followed by Crowley’s subsequent boredom of watching him try, Crowley had decided to take a nap. It wasn’t long before he could hear Bobby as he paced about downstairs, muttering and stomping. Crowley stood up and stretched before he jumped off the bed.

“Dean!” 

Crowley snickered as he trotted out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Bobby sounded enraged. Perhaps he’d found all the missing pages in his favourite research book. Or perhaps the hidden bowl of rotten dog food in his cupboard. 

“Goddamn son of a bitch!”

“Calm down!”, Dean said as he backed away from the hunter as he stalked the length of the kitchen.

“Where’s my damn cap?” The hunter spun around a couple of times. Crowley trotted over and sat in front of him. Bobby looked down and fixed him with a glare.

“This is your doing isn’t it?”, Bobby growled. Crowley responded by grinning and sticking his tongue out. 

“Dean!”, Bobby yelled thumping his fist on the bench.

“What?” Dean threw his hands up in the air. “It’s not like I told him to do it. Maybe it wasn’t even Zepp, it could’ve been Snook.”

Gabriel trotted in, drawn by the commotion.

“This never gets old for you does it?” Gabriel chuckled as he sat next to Crowley.

“Never”, Crowley smiled “His misery is extremely amusing” 

“You don’t have to come, Bobby, me and Sam got this” Dean looked over to the moose in question when he lumbered into the room then back to Bobby.

“I know I don’t have to come, idjits” Bobby said peevishly before thumping off upstairs. Dean turned to Sam with eyebrows raised and mouthed ‘What the?’ before bending down to scoop Crowley up.

Crowley knew where they were going. It was a horrifying thought on its own but this was just taking the cake. Why did he have to be humiliated before being used as a prop by the Winchesters to get information in some sort of dog torture chamber.

“I strongly object to this”, Crowley growled.

“Yes we know”, Gabriel sighed, “You made it abundantly clear back at the house”

“It’s demeaning.” 

“Think of it in a kinky way.” Gabriel wagged his tail and grabbed Crowley’s lead in his teeth and yanked. Crowley yelped, teetering sideways and falling into Gabriel. 

“Be good Snookums” Sam frowned down at them while Dean chuckled. Crowley growled at Gabriel after he’d regained his footing and nipped at Gabriel’s flank.

“Zeppelin! Bad boy” Moose admonished and tapped Crowley on the nose. He almost lost that finger as Crowley snarled at him and snapped his jaws, making Sam squawk and move as far away as the car would allow.

“Zepp, try not to eat my brother, alright?” Dean grinned down at Crowley for a moment before turning his attention back to the road. Crowley ignored the unamused frown Moose was giving him and scratched at his collar.

“At least you don’t have a bell”, Gabriel sighed, shaking his head to make the bell tinkle. 

The rest of the trip in the car was uneventful, apart from Gabriel driving Crowley nuts with his little bell.

“I swear I will find a way to end you”, Crowley growled after the fourteenth rendition of “Jingle Bells”.

Dean pulled the car up to a row of shops and, apparently thinking that Chihuahuas couldn’t use their legs, picked Crowley up and got out of the car.

“I’m not sure whether to be amused or horrified”, Crowley said as they neared the entrance of the Puppy Pamper Palace.

“This is going to be great!”, Gabriel panted, enthused as they entered. 

“Horrifying, it is” Crowley looked on, shocked as the full torture of this place was revealed. The place was very busy, dogs and their owners milling about, there where dogs getting bathed, trimmed and, sweet Lucifer, dressed up. 

“Well hellooo, Sandra.” Dean smiled looking over at a pretty blonde who was behind a middle counter. 

“Gonna be my wingman, Zeppelin?” Dean said as he held Crowley up so they were face to face.

“Seriously?” Sam raised an eyebrow.

“Dude” Dean put his cheek next to Crowley’s. “Look how cute he is”

Sam was silent in response and Crowley couldn't blame him. Gabriel however can’t stop snickering and Crowley growled at him. 

To Crowley’s immediate horror, they made their way over to the counter where all the costumes were. 

“Sandra, nice to meet you” Sam smiled nice and wide “This is my brother Dean and our two Chihuahuas”

“Zeppelin and Snookums” Dean made sure to point to Gabriel as he said the last and put Crowley down on the counter.

“Oh they’re gorgeous!” Sandra gushed playing with Gabriel’s ears, she looked up Sam with a big smile. “Do you have an outfit for him? I bet he’d look handsome as an aristocrat”

“Uh, no I don’t have any outfits” Sam replied somewhat stiltedly. “Seems like business is going well”  
Sandra turned with a twirl then back, holding two outfits that looked ridiculous. “It’s amazing considering”

“Try and put that on me” Crowley bared his teeth “I dare you”

Sandra raised an eyebrow and looked over to Dean. 

“Not shy is he?” She put the small sailor uniform down on the bench. Dean picked up Crowley and shrugged.

“What did you mean 'considering'?” 

“All the attacks” Sandra dropped her voice and lent in closer

Crowley glared at Sandra one last time before he settled down in Dean’s arms.

“It’s so terrible, all those poor puppies” Sandra shook his head and stuck her bottom lip out “I’d only just seen Fluffles the other day” 

“Fluffles?” Dean raised an eyebrow at Sam and cleared his throat “He, ah, she? Was the latest victim?”

“Yes and such a lovely dog” Sandra huffed and pulled one of the costumes off its hook and started to dress Gabriel. Crowley frowned as Sandra prattled on about how gorgeous Snookums was and how all the other dogs were all so special. He glanced up to see Dean trying to look interested while turning his face away and rolling his eyes before looking back with a large fake smile. 

“So do you have any idea where these attacks are happening?”, Dean asked quickly when Sandra paused for breath. She looked a bit startled at his outburst but recovered quickly still pushing and pulling Gabriel into some sort of ruffled fabric. 

“Well, not really. It’s not easy to get them to open up about that.” Sandra sighed.

Dean gave Sam a look then cleared his throat just as Sandra stood back with a grin.

“Ta da!” Sandra exclaimed and fiddled with the ruffled collar around Gabriel’s neck. Crowley looked over to the other Chihuahua and stared in shock for a few moments before bursting out in laughter. Gabriel looked ridiculous! Dean was making choking sounds while he tried to shove his fist in his mouth.  
“Wow, this is –“ Gabriel scratched at the ruffled Elizabethan collar and Crowley decided to finish the sentence for him.

“Absolutely priceless”, Crowley chuckled “Oh if I only had my iPhone” 

Sam seemed to be torn between horror and amusement. 

“That’s, uh, something I’ve never seen before” Sam grimaced a smile at Sandra’s beaming face.

“Thanks for everything Sandra” Dean smiled over his choking fit and turned for the door.

::::::

Crowley sat under the table between Deans legs. Most of the discussion over dinner had been of the various possible entities that could be responsible for all the doggy deaths and Crowley wondered if these people ever talked about anything but hunting. Dean’s hand snaked under the table and Crowley jumped up on his back legs and snatched the piece of food from his fingers.

“Wow, Crowley”, Gabriel chuckled. “That’s a bit sad.”

“I’m hungry ,Angel” Crowley snapped. He turned his back to Gabriel, silently fuming at the position he was in and the fact it was the damned Archangel’s fault. 

“If we take Snook and Zepp down to the hall tomorrow, we shouldn’t stick out too much asking questions” Dean said.

“Sounds good”, Sam answered.

“Okay, boys, we have to be at the Town Hall tomorrow morning”, Bobby said clearing his throat. 

“You want to come too?”, Sam said in surprise.

Bobby ploughed on over Sam’s interjection. “You need to have both of them walking slippers you call dogs ready to go as well, straight after breakfast. Best to be early.” Bobby sounded stubborn like he was waiting for objections he knew would be coming.

“Damn it, Bobby, we haven’t got time to do this Dog Whisperer thing you seem so set on.” Dean responded and his hand froze halfway under the table. Crowley growled and jumped snapping the morsel of food from Dean’s fingers. Dean jolted.

“Yeah, Bobby, it’s not as if we will get any real leads from some two-bit TV show.” Sam added.

“First off, it aint no two-bit show”, Bobby exclaimed in annoyance. “Have you boys missed the coincidence of dogs being taken and the show coming to Sioux Falls at the same time? I figure there has to be something in that.”

Bobby grumbled to himself as he got up from the table for more coffee. Crowley wondered if the Winchesters had discovered how much Bobby liked the show. Dean had caught him trying to train both he and Gabriel when he thought the boys weren’t there to see him. The Winchesters would probably cave in after mooning over all the trouble Bobby had got them out of. Didn’t mean they were going to like it though, or let Bobby off the hook too easily. Crowley sighed, he was really spending too much time with these people. 

“Make sure those mutts look respectable”, he continued as he stomped back to his seat.

“Maybe you’ve got a brush small enough that I could use on Zeppelin?”, Dean deadpanned.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I really don’t know what we are going to achieve from all this.”

“I really don’t know what we are going to achieve from all this.” Dean continued his complaints about Bobby’s plan as they walked towards the Town Hall.

“You’ve been moaning all morning Dean, now it’s time to fish or cut bait.” Bobby declared. Crowley trotted along next to Dean as he assessed the people and dogs that were grouped in the car park. He noticed that heads were turning in their direction as they approached. 

“It is a nice morning”, Sam said and Crowley looked over to see Gabriel panting trying to keep up with Gigantor’s long stride. “But why am I getting the feeling I have two heads or something?”

Bobby snorted in amusement. “Think about what they’re seeing comin’ towards them… Two big men with two tiny little dogs. You even had to get extra long leads just so they can get their paws on the ground. That’s gotta cause a look or two.”

“Don’t forget the bearded guy in flannel, without a dog” Dean added.

“Yeah, well I can circulate and get any information while you two are busy”, Bobby added, sounding rather rehearsed.

“Oh, so that’s the reason you’re coming with us.” Sam said and the brothers nodded together. “We were kinda wondering.”

Bobby grumbled some more as he stalked off to speak to people he recognised in the growing crowd. They reached the general milling point and came to a halt.

“Woooo, I’ve gotten used to being carried around”, Gabriel panted, lying down.

After a few moments of watching all the dogs and owners milling about, Crowley watched as three big SUVs arrived and teams of people began setting up inside the Town Hall. They moved efficiently and quickly, obviously well practised in what they were doing. A notice was posted saying auditions would commence at 8:30 am.

While they waited, Dean and Sam were approached by a number of people and their dogs. Their arrival and unfamiliarity among the dog set had caused quite a bit of speculation. Most people were polite, but curious, often relentless with their questions. Crowley quickly grew tired of being bothered by the other dogs and their owners. So he and Gabriel teamed up to get rid of them in as many different and interesting ways they could.

“Did you see Zeppelin run off that overdressed lady with the fluffy mop dog?”, Dean said with satisfaction. 

“Yeah, he’s pretty good” replied Sam, “But did you watch Snookums with that persistent guy and his fancy Dalmatian? He acted real friendly but he kept the Dalmatian so stirred up that the guy had trouble controlling him and asking questions at the same time.” Sam laughed.

“We make a good team, Angel”, Crowley said with satisfaction after they chased away yet another curious dog owner.

“This is a lot more fun than I’d expected” Gabriel replied as he walked upright on his back paws and grinned. 

The crowd began to form into lines as a trio of people set up a sign-in table near the main doors. Moving into the line Crowley found himself next to a greyhound that was crouched like a sphinx, front paws stretched out, head held high and ears perked forwards slightly.

“Isn’t this awesome, Crowley? We’re gonna be on TV!” Gabriel yipped and the Greyhound next to them sighed.

“Got a problem, mate?” Crowley looked up to the massive dog's head.

“This is the most excitement I’ve had all day”, he said to Crowley. “Frankly, this is all a bit annoying. I’d much rather be back on my couch having a nap”.

“Not a very energetic type are you?” Gabriel perked an ear forward and the greyhound snorted.

“Not at all. Greyhounds are sprinters.” The Greyhound yawned. “A quick run then I’m on the couch”

“Wow”, Gabriel turned to Crowley, “I’m almost falling asleep hearing about it.”

“Not everyone has your sugar-fueled energy, Gabriel”, Crowley snorted, rolling his eyes at the hyper Chihuahua.

“You love it”, Gabriel grinned. He rubbed his face across Crowley’s flank. Crowley sighed but didn’t move away.

“Do you know anything about the killings going on around here?”, Crowley asked turning his attention back to the Greyhound.

“Didn’t you hear the dude?” Gabriel jigged on the spot “He’s asleep all the time”.

The Greyhound bared his teeth and growled. “I can answer for myself”.

Crowley was impressed how frightening the docile creature could make himself look. It reminded him of his hounds. Not that they were docile by any measure.

“Gabriel”, Crowley sighed as the Angel skittered back and behind Crowley.

“I’ve heard a few things”, Greyhound answered and cleared his throat, “You should talk to my lady. She knows a lot about the goings on”.

Gabriel nudged Crowley and pointed with his nose at Dean and Sam who were already chatting to a pretty girl on the other end of the greyhound’s leash.

“... he must be a very brave man, because I’ve seen him down at the park where the dogs were taken.”

“You are talking about Kromley?”, Dean asked rather sceptically. 

Crowley was sure that bravery was not one of that man’s virtues. All he’d seen of the man was a cowering simpering fool. 

“Yes, the dog catcher, though I suppose he has some other sort of title these days.” She agreed. “I’ve seen him a few times down there in the evenings, so he must be doing it on his time off. Kinda strange really, he doesn’t seem all that fond of dogs, even quiet ones like mine.” She smiled down at her Greyhound.

“Eli here is a rescued greyhound”, she continued as she leaned down to rub his ears.

“Rescued from what?”, Gabriel asked Eli with a puzzled look, practically standing on the dog’s long folded legs as he tried to look into his eyes.

“Racetrack”, said Eli shortly. “I love a good run and it was a lot of fun. But when you aren’t fast enough then you aren’t useful anymore.” His long face looked sad for a moment. “I was lucky to be rescued and found a home. A lot of my friends didn’t.”

Gabriel looked as though he was going to ask more questions, but Crowley grabbed hold of his tail and dragged him away from Eli. It was really hard getting the Angel to focus on the problem in front of them and not get distracted. 

“Bobby’s back.” Crowley nodded up at the returning figure when he let go of Gabriel’s tail. He nipped Gabriel’s ear to distract the Angel from licking his tail, forcing him to focus on the main issue.

“Normally you have to submit a video of your dog and his behaviour to be considered for an episode of the show”, Bobby stated as he rejoined the boys. “However, this visit to Sioux Falls had already been organised with auditions, accommodations, and all the stuff they need to make an episode. But a lot of the dogs that had been planned for the show have been attacked, so extra auditions are being done here today.” He looked down at Crowley. “Do ya reckon they might have a shot at being in the episode?” He looked hopeful. “They sure do have some bad behaviour problems”

Sam and Dean exchanged a look that was amused but determined. “No, no way, Bobby”, they both said at the same time. 

“We just need to see if we can find out anything on our little problem.” Dean spoke carefully, as there were a lot of people within earshot. “We don’t need to spend too much time looking into this.”

Bobby lowered his voice, “Don’t you think it’s interesting a lot of the dogs that were attacked are the ones that were going to do this show?”

Dean and Sam took in this information before scanning the crowd with increased interest. 

“You think someone here might have arranged for those dogs to be attacked - just so that they could get their dog into a television show?”, Dean asked incredulously. 

Bobby slapped Dean on the arm and hissed, “Lower your voice!” He huffed out a breath went on to say “Some people take this show very seriously, and would do almost anything to appear on it. Some do it for themselves and others for their dogs.” When he saw Sam and Dean’s expressions he continued, “You really wouldn’t believe how fanatical some of these people can be about their dogs”

The line moved slowly but smoothly as each dog owner registered their details and then moved inside. Bobby was not the only person in the line without a dog and some pets appeared to have their own entourage.

“Can you believe some of these guys?” Gabriel jumped over Crowley, who was sitting, and trotted out as far as his lead would allow. Crowley moved his head so Gabriel’s lead wasn’t brushing against his nose. 

“Sit down, Gabriel” Crowley huffed, amused as the brown Chihuahua quivered with glee, dashing this way and that.

“That Shih Tzu has a uniform, personal hairdresser, and a pram!” Gabriel laughed and came back over to Crowley, sitting nearly on top of him, their sides pressed together. Crowley rolled his eyes but didn’t move. He’d never tell the Angel but he really did enjoy his company. Life was never dull when he was around. 

After a while there was a steady stream of owners departing the exit doors, obviously rejected hopefuls judging from their dejected demeanour. Crowley chuckled at the couple who left crying and sobbing.

The demon and the angel were a big hit with the lady at the registration desk with both of them on their best behaviour, for once. Crowley had the weirdly uncomfortable feeling that Gabriel was looking down the lady’s cleavage when she bent over to pat him. He even rolled onto his back, waving his little paws in the air. The same lady cooed at him and didn’t even protest when Gabriel licked her face. Crowley looked on in horror.

“That’s how you do it, sweetlips” Smirked Gabriel. 

“No way, you missed the point altogether”, Crowley said with an insufferable expression “That was a disgustingly pathetic display”

“Oh, really?” Gabriel flattened his ears “You wanna show me how to do it properly, big boy?”

“You couldn’t handle it, darling”

This was enough to tip Gabriel into a frenzy, especially after the effort of trying to behave all morning. He threw himself upon Crowley and they became a snarling, biting ball of rolling fur. Crowley heard people scream as they erupted into the hall. 

They came to a stop when they struck another dog queued inside. Crowley quickly righted himself and watched as their fight caused a domino effect down the line. The startled dog they ran into jumped forward into the next dog, who repeated the process until chaos ensued throughout the hall. Equipment and tables went flying, paperwork scattered, and people pulled off their feet when leads were caught around their legs. 

Sam, Dean, and Bobby stood just inside the doorway watching in horror as the destruction escalated in front of them.

“Do you think we should just sneak out now, and hope no one figures out it was your dogs that wrecked the place?”, a mortified Bobby asked. Crowley grabbed Gabriel’s collar and yanked to get the other’s attention. Gabriel grinned back at him and followed when Crowley ran off to a raised platform nearby to better oversee the chaos.

“Way better view!”, Gabriel laughed and nudged Crowley. Crowley looked over to where the Winchesters were standing. 

Sam saw him and exclaimed in relief, “There they are!” He pointed to the raised podium at the end of the hall were they were sitting pretty, watching the pandemonium, their tongues hanging out with amusement. Gabriel occasionally flinched when someone crashed to the floor.

“Now who’d have thought that being with the Winchester boys would be this amusing”, laughed Crowley as he watched a Dalmatian dragging its owner along the floor, trying to escape the jaws of a hyped up, though normally sedate, Rhodesian Ridgeback. 

Bobby growled something in embarrassment to Dean and Sam. So much for Bobby’s hopes of seeing Cesar Milan in person, Crowley thought and snickered.

As the three of them carefully picked their way around equipment, dogs, and people toward the podium, they were stopped by a determined middle-aged lady who’d managed not only to stay on her feet, but still had hold of her clipboard. They were close enough that Crowley could overhear the conversation.

“What are their names, and your details please?” she asked politely, but firmly, as she nodded towards Crowley and Gabriel.

Bobby paled, probably thinking of law suits, damages, his reputation and other related costs. It was okay for the Winchesters, they didn’t live in this town. Not that Crowley cared about Bobby's happiness or reputation. He really didn’t. At all.

“Look, we’re really sorry.” Sam began to apologise, looking contrite. 

“Oh, don’t apologise” the lady insisted, “They are perfect for the show. Luke was able to keep filming, so we’ve got most of it on tape. It will make an excellent intro.” She nodded towards a cameraman no one had noticed before. 

“After all these years of working with Cesar, the crew and staff have developed the talent of avoiding trouble.” She smiled. “My name is Kathy, and it is a pleasure to meet you.”

Bobby moved forward and smiled back at her with real warmth, “Those two devils are Zeppelin and Snookums, and they sure can be a handful when they get going. These boys here are Sam and Dean Winchester”, he said nodding in their direction. “Sam’s little fella is Snookums, while Dean has Zeppelin.”

Sam and Dean exchanged a look of resignation.

“Wonderful” Kathy said as she wrote the details on her form. “Since everyone signed a release before entering, we don’t have that headache for the film, and, of course, there is the usual insurance waiver as well, just in case you were worried. That covers the replacement of anything damaged.”

She laughed at the relieved look on Bobby’s face.

“You’ve actually done us a favour”, she said, surprising them. “Not only do we have an excellent pair of dogs for a segment, but at the same time, we have sorted out the other dogs we want in a much quicker time than usual.” 

“To return the favour”, she continued, “it might be wise if you collected your two and made yourselves scarce for a while, until we can sort out everyone else.” She nodded at some of the crew who were helping people. “Luckily it doesn’t look as though there are any injuries, although some dignity has been bruised.”

“Yeah, that sounds good to me, too”, replied Dean as he moved towards the podium.

“Are you coming?”, Sam asked when Bobby made no move to follow. 

“Yeah, yeah, keep your hair on.” Bobby shook himself. “Let’s get those mutts and clear out of here”

As they left the hall, Crowley tuned out the sound of Bobby’s grumbling, the old hunter could go on and on and on… He lagged behind the Winchesters, partly because he was tired from the day’s events but mainly to keep the sound of Bobby’s voice out of his ears. 

Gabriel kept turning around and grinning at him from his position at the front of their little pack, probably because of Bobby’s grumbling. But before they’d gone far, Gabriel came trotting back to him. 

“Look! It’s him!”

Crowley put his paw up to keep Gabriel away before looking backwards. 

“So this human can apparently tame animals?”, Crowley snorted. He watched as a short man with slightly greying hair stepped out of a van, staring rather bemusedly at the chaos of people and dogs emerging from the hall. 

“Dogs”, Gabriel nodded next to him. “Hence ‘Dog Whisperer’” 

“Pfft”, Crowley snorted sceptically. 

“I dunno, he seems very calm and assertive,” Gabriel snickered then sighed when Crowley didn’t give him a reaction “It’s no fun if you don’t have any idea what I’m talking about.” 

“Then never talk to me” 

“Croooowley!” Gabriel whined and Crowley could hear him skittering along behind him as he walked off after the others. 

On the way, Bobby decided to not accompany them to question Officer Kromley. 

“Good, we’ll give you Zepp and Snook to take back –“ Was as far as Dean got before Bobby cut him off.

“Your dogs, your problem.” Bobby chuckled, giving them a jaunty wave as he hopped in his car. Crowley had almost missed the exchange due do trying to kick off Gabriel who had a sudden interest in licking him. 

“Quit it, Angel” Crowley put his paws up and pushed Gabriel’s face away. 

“Come on, Crowley” Gabriel grinned “I’m trying to groom you, it’s what dogs do”

“I’m not a dog” Crowley growled and skittered away as Gabriel tried to advance again. 

“I’m gonna getcha!” They ran around Dean and Gigantor’s legs. Crowley barked in frustration as they both came to end of their leashes tangled around human legs.

“Holy crap!” Dean wiggled a leg and had to grab Sam’s arm to steady himself then sighed, “Fabulous.”

“Haha!” Gabriel crowed in triumph half tangled on top of Crowley. “Give up, you know you can’t win”

“I haven’t even started resisting yet, Angel”, Crowley snapped at Gabriel. Dean and Sam each managed to untangle themselves and grab each of them before Crowley could do any serious damage.

“Oh, yeah” Dean smiled wide at Sam, sounding overly sarcastic “This is going to be great”

Gabriel laughed and kept laughing even as they all tumbled into the car. Crowley shook his head but couldn’t help the grin from spreading across his face. The Trickster’s good mood was infectious.

It was a reasonably short ride from the town hall to the pound. Sioux Falls wasn’t a big place, and Gabriel spent most of it standing in Sam’s lap sticking his head out of the window. When they arrived, Sam placed Gabriel on the back seat and wound the window up so it was only open at the top.

“Good boys. Stay here.” Sam patted Gabriel on the head and opened his door. Crowley snorted and dashed out the door with Gabriel. No way he was staying cooped up in that monstrosity of a car.

Crowley watched Sam slam the door to the Impala shut then look down at both he and Gabriel.

“Wha? How did you?” Sam pointed between the car and Crowley.

“Please”, Crowley snorted and started down the path to the pound only to be picked up by Dean.

“Not coming with, Zepp.” Dean opened the door and placed him inside as Sam plopped Gabriel on the back seat. Crowley was out again in less time than it took for Dean to close the door.

“Damnit, Zepp” Dean jogged after him as Crowley made a mad dash for the door to the pound. He almost got there but he was clamped up in Winchester’s paws at the last moment and carried back to the car.

“Lock me in there and I swear I will pee all over your precious Impala”, Crowley growled.

“Be a good boy!” Dean patted Zeppelin and slammed the door shut quickly. Crowley glowered and lifted a leg just as Dean was turning away. Gabriel snickered from the back seat as the door was yanked open and Crowley was picked up and deposited on the lawn. But before he could revel in his freedom, Dean clipped his lead to Crowley’s collar.

“Great plan, Crowley”, Gabriel called from the car, “What now?”

“Shut up.” Crowley plonked down on the grass and stared up at Dean, who was staring back down at him with raised eyebrows.

“You gotta go?” Dean waved a hand “Go!”

“We should get a move on, Dean”

“Yeah I know, Sammy.” Dean sighed and narrowed his eyes at Crowley. Crowley tried his best to look innocent, his head cocked to one side.

“Anytime you’re ready”, Dean murmured swinging the lead idly.

“Dean”, Sam stressed the word out and Crowley turned to look at him as Dean flung an arm out.

“What? You’re the one who wanted dogs”, Dean huffed and tied Crowley’s lead to the Impala and turned to Sam “D’reckon he’ll be safe?”

Sam nodded. “There’s never been an attack during the day.”

Dean hesitated a few more seconds before he moved off after Sam. Crowley sighed and lay down on the grass while Gabriel scratched at the glass from inside the car. 

“I wanna be outside”, Gabriel whined and Crowley looked up to see him trying to jump for the small opening.

“I always knew there was something off about that Kromley.” Crowley ignored Gabriel as he kept scrambling for the window. The guy had been constantly on edge, skittish and nervous and it had made Crowley’s skin crawl. And that was saying something. Coming from a profession dealing with souls Crowley knew a lot about their different conditions. Bobby’s had been worn around the edges, darkened with grief but annoyingly bright with the love he had for the Winchesters and the hope of helping as many people as he could. Bobby’s was one of the more intact souls he’d had the pleasure of holding on to for, sadly, too short a time. Mostly, he had collected greedy, slobbery, disgusting messes. All of them wanting the easy option and not fully grasping the Hell, pun intended, they’d got themselves into. They were his favourite kind, too stupid to realise ten years is nothing compared to a lifetime. Crowley sighed and wished for the simplicity of the early days. Being the King of Hell was not all it was cracked up to be. Demons were a lousy lot to manage. Backstabbing bastards.

“Crowley!” Gabriel barked “I’m bored. What are you doing out there?”

“Thinking, Angel” Crowley turned so he was facing the car. “Did you notice anything strange about the idiot in the pound?”

“Psssh!”, Gabriel snorted, “Only everything. He was in the middle of taking that nasty mongrel somewhere, you know the one Dean saved you from, when he had to go answer the door.”

“Where was he taking it?” Crowley narrowed his eyes. “There’s not much more to that dirt-infested compound than a front and back.”

“Maybe he was feeding it off to whatever is eating dogs around here”, Gabriel snorted, amused, and Crowley realised what had been bothering him about the guy. He must have been the one to summon whatever this thing was. Messing with dark magic had a way of sucking your soul dry, leaving a repulsive stain burnt into what’s left of it. Those kinds of people didn’t have a problem finding their way to Hell. 

“He summoned the thing”, Crowley said. “He isn’t going to that park looking for dogs to rescue, he’s taking them there to feed whatever he’s conjured.”

::::::

After they arrived back at Bobby’s, the Winchesters and Bobby had a fact exchange meeting, the outcome of which decided that tonight would be the night that they would find/kill the creature. Apparently, Kromley hadn’t been overly forthcoming with information but had let slip a few key details and that, together with the information gathered from the other dog owners, was enough for Bobby to find something in his books. Well, to start looking for something anyway. Sam was in the library with him, Gabriel curled up on his lap, looking pathetically domestic. Dean had clapped his hands together and decided to go call the Sheriff. Crowley wandered around the stacks of books, artifacts, trinkets and bits of scrap paper that made up the Singer research base. After a full circuit, Crowley returned to find Gabriel still sleeping and thought about how he’d never seen the Angel so quiet. Bobby and Sam occasionally mumbled something to one another but it was mostly silent, save for the sound of turning pages. 

Crowley heard Dean moving around in the kitchen and, with a last glance at Gabriel, walked in to see the hunter hanging up the phone and moving towards the fridge. Crowley skittered over to a chair and leapt up, giving Dean a short bark to announce his arrival. 

“Hey, Zepp!” Dean smiled over his shoulder and returned from the fridge with a beer. He twisted the top off with a happy sigh and took a long swig before looking down at Crowley.

“There’s still something about that Kromley guy that doesn’t sit right with me.” Dean leaned on the table. “I’m not sure I believe his ‘I’m saving dogs’ story when it seems that there are a ton of reports of dogs going missing from the pound.”

“Clearly, the guy’s feeding the damn thing.” Crowley rolled his eyes.

“But why lie? What’s the dude got to hide?” Dean waggled his bottle.

“Don’t be such a moron. He summoned the thing”, Crowley said “His soul stinks of dark magic.”

Dean looked down at him and a strange expression flitted across his face.

“He’s the one who summoned this dog-eating demon”, Dean murmured and narrowed his eyes.

“Well I object to the term ‘demon’ being thrown in to describe it but sure, cookie for you”, Crowley snorted.

“Well, we know the where, got a theory as to the what and have a fair guess as to who’s behind it all.” Dean nodded to himself “Not that I’m happy about it, but we have bait, too. Sorry, Zepp.” Dean sighed and moved out of the kitchen.

“Fantastic.” Crowley hopped down from the table and trotted off to wake up Gabriel. “I am not anyone’s bait.”

Personally, he would’ve gone straight back to Kromley and threatened to rip his spine out unless he spilled the truth. Get all the information he would need to kill/banish the creature and send some minion off to get rid of it. Obviously, the Winchesters were going for the ‘Charge head first into battle without enough information and get killed’ strategy, which for them was pretty much par for the course.

“You hear what’s going on?”, Gabriel whispered to Crowley when he got back to the library and found the Angel tucked in the crook of Sam’s arm. Crowley jumped onto the chair then onto the desk.

“Urgh, a Barguest.” Crowley followed Bobby’s pointing finger and looked down at the open books scattered across the desk.

“I hear ya, fella”, Dean huffed and gave Crowley a quick pat. 

“Nasty little buggers, wanna guess what their plan is?” Gabriel smiled and Crowley glared at him, he wasn’t in the mood.

“Rushing headlong into danger?” 

“You got it” Gabriel laughed “Oh, it never gets old watching the Winchesters in action”

“Yes, it does, Angel” Crowley answered. “Have they got to the part where we’re the bait?”

“Really?” Gabriel sounded shocked. “But we’re just innocent little Chihuahuas!”

It didn’t take long for Sheriff Mills to arrive and join everyone congregated around the older hunter’s desk. They all looked down at the various books lying on the surface with grim faces.

“It’s a kind of Bogie”, Bobby said while tapping one of the books. “It has horns, fangs, claws, and fiery eyes. It can take many forms, but usually it’s a shaggy black dog”

“We’re sure this is it?” Dean picked Crowley up while he perused a couple of books, gathering information.

“Near as can be without seeing the damn thing. Most sightings of this thing have been in northern England.” Bobby scratched his chin “Not sure how it’s gotten over here.”

“How do we kill it?”, Sam asked. Bobby picked up the first book on the pile.

“Oh oh!”, Gabriel wriggled, “I know this!”

“Seems to be they used to run it through with a sword or beat it with a club,” Bobby huffed and thumped the book back on the table. 

“Sword or club?” Dean snorted, “Awesome.”

“These types of creatures are usually pretty allergic to fire”, Sam shrugged, “Couldn’t hurt right?”

“So we stab it with a sword, beat it with a club, then light it on fire.” Dean nodded “Sounds like a plan.”

“Fabulous”, Crowley sighed. “This is going to go well.”

::::::

“Ever seen that scene from True Lies?” Gabriel panted, running alongside Moose.

“No.” Crowley was also trying to keep up with Dean as he strode into the park, shotgun tucked under his arm and a firm grip on Crowley’s leash.

“This is just like that.” 

“How, Angel?”, Crowley growled. “Where there Chihuahuas also about to be offered up on a silver platter to a raging, pissed off bogie?”

“Not so much.” Gabriel yipped as he fell behind slightly and was yanked forward by Gigantor’s stride. “But it did have terrorists.”

“So glad you find this all so amusing.”

They all came to a dead stop as they heard a roar break the stillness of the night. Crowley perked his ears forward and tried to calm his jumping nerves. It was hard when everyone around you was so on edge and all his fur was standing on end. Bobby nodded to the boys and started off into the tree line that surrounded the park. Dean and Sam handed both Gabriel and Crowley off to Sheriff Mills without a word. 

“Now is the time to get out of here”, Crowley murmured, pulling on his leash. Gabriel was making a disturbing wheezing sound and it built in volume until Crowley realised it wasn’t Gabriel but something in the brush behind Gabriel that was making the noise. 

“Run!” Crowley barked and yanked backwards just as the Barguest leapt forward and swiped a clawed paw at the Sheriff. She dropped their leashes with a surprised yell and reached for her gun. Gabriel barked in distress and Crowley took the opportunity to run like a bat outta hell. Only when he felt far enough away from the danger did he slow down to let Gabriel catch up with him. 

“We’re screwed, Angel.” Crowley panted and turned around. He wasn’t even sure where he was in relation to the car anymore. 

“I can change us back. Have been able to the entire time”

“What?!” Crowley barked angrily, annoyed and incredulous. “This whole, bloody, buggery time?” 

“Yeah.” Gabriel at least had the decency to look sheepish. “But I was only trying to-“

“To what?!”, Crowley yelled, “Drive me slowly insane? To get me eaten by whatever dog-eating creature happens by?”

“No!” Gabriel bounced nervously. “I was just trying to spend some time with you”

There was a moment of dead silence.

“Spend some time with me?”

“Yes.”

“You are insane, Angel” Crowley bared his teeth. “Change me back or I will rip your throat out myself”

Gabriel had gone still and was staring over Crowley’s shoulder.

“Run”, Gabriel whispered “Run!”

Crowley felt a chill roll up his spine as he heard the creature shifting up behind him. He knew it was pointless trying to get away, there was only so fast you could go on Chihuahua legs, but the thought of being ripped apart inspired him into running as fast as those little legs allowed. Gabriel shouted something franticly but all Crowley could focus on was dodging around the trees and shrubs. Sudden pain exploded along his side as he felt the creature’s jaws slam around his tiny body. He had a fleeting moment of shock and panic before he was flung into a tree. Crowley felt a strange sensation wash over his body and thought for a moment that he was dying. Not the most brilliant death, but it was a step up from being mauled by a random dog at the pound. It wasn’t until he tried to push himself up that he realised, with a bizarre sensation, that he had hands and feet again. He heard the creature snarling in confusion mere feet away, the sound of running feet nearby, and Gabriel cursing. He pushed himself upright against the tree and winced as a jolt of pain went through his side. 

“Crowley? Are you okay?” 

Crowley could make out the Angel’s normal human shaped silhouette behind the Barguest. The beast’s red eyes locked on Crowley again, mouth pulled wide showing rows of jagged teeth as it hunkered down, ready to pounce. Gabriel appeared and gave the creature a swift kick in the head while yelling something incoherently. Crowley took a moment to pull himself to his feet and run a hand over his side. Not too much damage apart from another suit ruined apparently. He’d make the Angel pay for that. 

The Barguest reared up on its hind legs and roared.

“BACK OFF!” Crowley growled and conjured up a wall of fire between Gabriel and the creature. It screamed its frustration, and hopefully pain, before dashing away. Crowley didn’t think it would stay away for long.

“Are you hurt?” Gabriel was at his side in an instant, running his hands over Crowley before the demon slapped them away.

“I’m fine!”, Crowley huffed and rolled his eyes when Gabriel frowned and held up a hand covered in blood. “Well, I’ve had worse,” Crowley smirked, “from you as I recall.”

Gabriel’s expression wasn’t amused like Crowley had been going for but turning from worried to guilty. 

“Oh please”, Crowley slapped Gabriel over the head, “would you stop being so melodramatic?”

“It’s my fault.” Gabriel sighed, looking at Crowley his eyes overly bright.

“Yes, it is.” Crowley raised an eyebrow, “What’s your point?”

All he wanted to do was stop Gabriel from getting maudlin. But Gabriel grinned at him like sunshine and Crowley wrinkled his nose in disgust.

“You made me feel better.” Gabriel laughed and slung his arm around Crowley’s shoulder. “I knew you were a big softie!” 

“I did no such thing, Angel.” Crowley growled and tried to shuck Gabriel’s arm off.

“It’s not that we aren’t grateful, but what the hell?” Sam said and Crowley turned to see Bobby and Dean both pointing shotguns at him. Sam was blinking at them both while the Sheriff looked between both groups.

“You guys got history?”, she asked. Dean snorted.

“Boys!”, Gabriel boomed throwing his arms up and Crowley winced then glared at the Angel as he moved forward to put himself between Crowley and the shotguns. Crowley shook his head. Gabriel always had an overly protective instinct.

“Aren’t you dead?” Dean raised an eyebrow. 

Gabriel flapped his arms, “Yes. No.” he pursed his lips, “Kinda. You know what? I always say, never let death keep you down.”

“Right.” Dean nodded sarcastically, “What about you Crowley?”

“Ah well, you see I never actually died.” Crowley strolled out from behind Gabriel, amused as the shotguns followed his movement. Gabriel moved again but Crowley glared at him, promising certain death if he tried to protect him again with his knight-in-dented-armour routine.

Gabriel pouted at the demon, but made no further move to come between them again. 

“I was there, I saw Cas toast you.” Dean narrowed his eyes.

“Yes,” Crowley matched Dean’s stare, “you did.”

“Mind telling me how you faked that without Cas knowing?” 

“Who said he didn’t know?”

Crowley chuckled as Dean’s face went through a few interesting expressions.

“Speaking of Baby Bro, do you guys know where he’s at?” Gabriel looked between the humans.

“We’re a little busy hunting some sort of juiced up, super demon freak.” Dean hissed.

Crowley watched amused when Sam’s face began to express worry.

“Dean!”, Sam said with a note of panic in his voice. “We still haven’t found the dogs.”

Dean quickly lost interest in Crowley and began to rapidly look around. “Zeppelin?” He began to whistle and call, “Here, fella, come here.” 

Crowley twitched involuntarily, even though he’d expected it. He glared at Gabriel when he grinned in amusement at the automatic response.

“Aww, have you guys got dogs?” Gabriel’s voice was full of mirth. “Let me guess, Rottweilers?” 

“Chihuahuas” Bobby grunted with a half smile, though he was also looking around for the dogs. 

“Chihuahuas?” Gabriel cooed “Aww, you guys are so cute”

“Gabriel”, Crowley growled in warning. 

“So are they here to help?” Sheriff Mills asked Sam as she flicked her fingers at Gabriel and Crowley.

“Depends” Crowley answered “What do I get out of it?”

“How bout I don’t shoot you full of salt?”, Bobby growled. 

“Charming as always, Robert,” Crowley gave him a thin lipped smile “Just so happens that I don’t particularly like Barguests, so you can keep the salt for your margaritas”

“You...”, Dean pointed at Crowley “...are going to help us?”

“Close your mouth, Winchester, you’ll catch flies,” Crowley smirked “I’m going to help myself, you all just happen to be nearby when I do it” 

“Naww he’s really a big teddy bear”, Gabriel grinned and dodged the slap Crowley swung at him. “We’ll even help you find your dogs.”

“Snookums!” Sam called, turning. “Zeppelin!”

“Speak for yourself, Angel” Crowley hissed at Gabriel before stalking off in the direction the Barguest had disappeared.

“Crowley!!” Gabriel appeared in front of him and Crowley sidestepped to go around him “Ok I know we need to talk but will you just stop and listen for a bit?”

“I’m busy trying to find and kill a large dog-eating beast, Gabriel. You know the one that just almost ate me?” Crowley pushed past the Angel and kept going. The nerve Gabriel had, honestly. If he didn’t enjoy the Angel’s company so much he would’ve dusted him ages ago. There was the rub. He really did take pleasure in playing games with Gabriel; he’d enjoyed it much more when he’d thought he was just a Trickster and not one of Heaven’s most terrifying warriors. An Archangel! That’s something he’s had a hard time forgiving Gabriel for. Turning him into a tiny rat and almost getting him killed, as well as ruining a suit, was going to be another.

It took Crowley a moment to realise that Gabriel was trudging alongside him in silence, face pulled down into a frown. Making Gabriel feel bad was like kicking one of his hounds. He always felt bad about it no matter how deserving the punishment was. 

“Gabriel –“ Crowley was interrupted by a shout.

“Stop! Who – who are you?” 

Crowley raised an eyebrow at Kromley who was standing at the edge of the park pointing a flashlight at them. What an interesting development. 

“What the hell are you doing here?”, Dean piped up from behind them. Crowley hissed a breath out through his teeth, it was always such an effort with the Winchesters. 

“Me? What are you-“ Kromley squinted at them then gave a squeak of surprise “Is that the Sheriff?”

“What’s going on here, Jack?” Sheriff Mills made her way to the front on the group and put her hands on her hips. “What are you doing with that dog?”

Crowley glanced down at the grey pit bull at Kromley’s feet and frowned. It looked familiar.

“Nothing, uh just...” Kromley swallowed loudly. “Rescuing it?”

“Bullshit”, Dean growled,“We know you summoned this thing, do you have any idea how many people it could kill? How much damage this thing is capable of?”

“I, I,...” Kromley worried the lead he was holding between his hands. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Look,” Sam stepped forward and Crowley rolled his eyes at the sympathetic look plastered across the Moose’s face ”I know you must be going through something and think this isn’t the best way to-“

“You don’t know squat!” Kromley spat, showing real anger. “You’re just Cesar Milan sycophants! You think I didn’t see you at the auditions? Drooling all over that murdering bastard.”

“What the?” Dean scrunched his face up in confusion. Bobby was staring at the pit bull with too much interest for Crowley’s comfort.

“Is that Junior?” Bobby said surprised “Did you steal Cesar Milan’s dog?”

Bobby sounded really pissed, if the cocking of his shotgun wasn’t enough indication. 

“No,” Kromley answered too quickly and tightened his grip on the dog’s lead “why would I do that?”

“How should we know?” Dean snapped “You’re the crazy one.”

“I’m not crazy!” Kromley snarled and rolled up one of his sleeves to reveal mangled sigils carved into his arm. Crowley could make out a few of them, some for protection and influence. This was how he was controlling the Barguest. 

“So this is you not being crazy?” Dean raised an eyebrow and brought his shotgun to bear on Kromley “Sorry, dude, you are nowhere near my definition of sane.”

“Yeah? Well, blame that dog whispering bastard for that!” Kromley rubbed one of the sigils until it started bleeding. “If it wasn’t for him my son would still be alive!”

“Seriously?” 

“You can’t blame a TV show for that, Jack” Sheriff Mills said quietly. Kromley snuffled loudly and angrily wiped a tear from his face. 

“This is getting boring”, Crowley sighed, ignoring the various astounded looks he got “I don’t care about you or this dog whisper person; I just want to kill this thing and go home to a tall glass of scotch.”

“Good luck trying” Kromley sneered, wiping his nose with his arm. With a quick glance over his shoulder, he shouted, “Sic em boy!”   
Crowley growled in frustration as Dean and Bobby unloaded their shotguns into a galloping Barguest rapidly making its way to across the park at them. The pit bull was jumping and barking while Dean was yelling for a sword and the Sheriff was wrestling with Kromley. 

Enough. He’d had enough. 

Crowley walked forward, tossed Sheriff Mills to the side and grabbed Kromley’s arm.

“This may sting.” Crowley stared straight into Kromley’s face, then pulled, ripping Kromley’s arm off at the socket and, with one hand on his chest, pushed Kromley into the oncoming Barguest. It hardly broke stride to eat him. 

Crowley threw Kromley’s arm on the ground in front of the Barguest and it squealed in confusion, coming to a shuddering stop. 

“Be still my beating heart!” Gabriel grinned at him. “You sure know how to show a girl a good time.”

Crowley threw him a frustrated look before closing his eyes and summoning his favourite hell hound. Shriker was his biggest, most utterly terrifying, totally loyal, and obedient hound. 

She snuffled, licking at Crowley’s hand before throwing her head back and howling. Dean jumped a mile, letting out an extremely undignified squeal. Not surprising really, considering the history Dean had with hell hounds and the proximity of Shriker. Her howl stuck the deepest fear into any mortal. Crowley saw even Gabriel shiver.

“Hell hounds!” Dean shivered. “I hate Hell hounds!”

Crowley chuckled and patted Shriker’s head. He watched the Barguest hunker down as it picked up the new threat. Shriker snarled and pawed at the ground waiting for Crowley’s command. 

“Alright, girl”, Crowley purred, stroking Shriker’s flank, “Rip it apart!”

Crowley watched his beautiful hound spring into action with a roar and had a brief moment of pity for the humans who couldn’t see it. The Barguest whimpered as Shriker tore into it, locking her jaws around its throat. It didn’t stand a chance. 

“What was – is – that?”, Sheriff Mills whispered to Bobby who she was leaning against. 

“Hell Hound, scary sonsabitches” The older hunter then turned to Sam. “I think it might be time to adios amigos” 

“I still can’t find the dogs”, Sam said while trying to keep a hold on the pit bull as it jumped around. “We can’t leave them here.”

Crowley sighed and turned to Gabriel raising an eyebrow. The Archangel smiled and clapped his hands together. 

“Here, Shriker” Gabriel called, making kissing noises “There’s a good girl.”

Crowley blinked in surprise and watched, astounded, as his hound looked up from where she was chewing on what was left of the Barguest and let out a loud woof before bounding over to the Angel. 

“Who’s a pretty girl?” Gabriel scratched Shriker behind the ears and then looked up to Crowley. “What do ya say we help these nice boys find their dogs?”

“Hell, no” Dean shook his head. “That thing would use them for tooth picks”

“She has a name.”, Gabriel frowned at Dean while still patting Shriker. “Do you want us to help or not?”

“I’m gonna get Jodie patched up”, Bobby grunted and helped the injured Sheriff off in the direction of the cars. Crowley shook his head and wondered where his sanity went. 

“Dean, maybe-“ Sam started before being cut off.

“No” Dean shook his head “No way I’m accepting help from a Hell hound or him.”

Dean jabbed a finger in Crowley’s direction. Crowley felt a sudden jab of hurt.

“Suits me fine, Winchester.” Crowley spat and, ignoring Gabriel, who called out his name, moved himself away from Sioux Falls. He delivered Shriker back to her kennel and fed her a few extra souls for her good work. It was idiotic to be upset at the Winchesters. It wasn’t as though he liked them, but they continuously spat in his face every time he helped them out. Would a little gratitude hurt them? Sure, they were right in the fact that he would kill them in an instant if he thought he must; he was a demon, that’s his nature. And killing the Winchesters never lasted anyway. Each of them had died at least ten times, more in Dean’s case due to one Archangel. Crowley left the kennels and moved himself up out of Hell again. He felt the Angel’s presence and tried half-heartedly to lose him.

“Crowley, wait” Gabriel grabbed Crowley’s arm and landed them both in the Singer Auto yard. “Just listen to me.”

“Here?” Crowley dramatically threw an arm out. “Of all places?”

“Why not?” Gabriel grinned, then sobered, “I admit it. I knew how to turn us back the whole time and I need you to know that I never would’ve let you get hurt.”

Crowley raised an eyebrow.

“Seriously hurt”, Gabriel said sheepishly. “I just wanted to hang out, you know?”

“Hang out?”, Crowley repeated and thought over the last few centuries of hanging out with Gabriel. There had been the times when Gabriel was going out with Kali. It was no secret Kali hated Crowley and the feeling was mutual. The couple of times Gabriel had snuck away and pestered him had always ended with Crowley exiting stage left while the nearest city went up in flames. “Why does that always end in me running for my life?”

“Okay so maybe I overdo it, sometimes” Gabriel shrugged “But I wanted to tell you that I, you know, have a thing for you.”

“So what? This is your version of courting? Hide me and turn me into a rat?”

“Chihuahua”, Gabriel corrected. “It’s not like I have heaps of practice in this arena, my last date was with Kali and she was all about blowing up cities”

“Right...” Crowley drawled while still trying to right his world view. “What’s the real reason, Gabriel?”

“I swear! That’s the truth!” The Archangel threw his hands up in the air. “Is that so hard to believe?”

Crowley took a breath, shifted slightly, then paused. 

“Yes” Crowley narrowed his eyes and pointed at Gabriel “What do you want, Angel?” 

“Jeez” Gabriel whispered and Crowley watched some kind of emotion flitter across his face. 

What did Gabriel want? He kept saying he wanted to spend time with him. Was it to gather information? Try to restore balance between Heaven and Hell?

“I’m not lying, Crowley”, Gabriel whispered and moved closer. Crowley shifted backwards. Gabriel stopped, held his hands out with his palms up and raised an eyebrow. 

“Why?” Crowley put his hands in his pockets and lifted his chin.

“Shall I liken thee to a summer’s day? Count the many ways?” Gabriel enunciated and flitted his hands through the air. “It’s love, Crowley”

“Angel” Crowley pointed at Gabriel then pointed to himself “Demon”

“Ground” Gabriel pointed down then up “Sky. Are we pointing out the obvious?”

“Fine. The obvious would be that this” Crowley gestured between the two of them “Will never work”

Gabriel shifted closer and, this time, Crowley let him “Yes, it will. If we want it to”

“Why?” Crowley cleared his throat and tried to swap his insecurity for self serving “What do I get out of it?”

“Archangel at your beck and call?” Gabriel grinned, moving closer still.

Crowley imagined going back to running Hell, spending months chasing incompetent and snivelling demons who all tried to stab him in the back. Then, he thought about the last couple of days with the Archangel. Crowley couldn’t deny that he had thought of Gabriel often, even before he knew he was an Archangel, when he was just a Trickster playing pranks. Gabriel had a wicked dark side that Crowley greatly admired. 

Gabriel was right in Crowley’s personal space and there was something different in the Angel’s eyes, a vulnerability Crowley had never seen before, and it sent shivers down his spine. He smelled like electricity and candy, chocolate and power. Gabriel’s proximity was doing weird things to him.

“Just-“ Gabriel whispered only to be interrupted by the sound of the Impala pulling into the yard. Even though he knew they couldn’t see him unless he wanted them to, Crowley pulled back and cleared his throat. The Impala came to a stop and the hunters climbed out. Sam looked like he’d been weeping and Dean’s face was pulled into an unhappy frown. 

“I see they found the collars.” Gabriel mock sighed “Poor little Snookums and Zeppelin”

Crowley threw Gabriel a glance before watching the Moose sniffle and shuffle his way inside. He was followed by Bobby who had Junior. 

“They’re gonna have a funeral and all.” Gabriel tilted his head. “I feel kinda bad for them” 

Dean sat on the Impala and fiddled with the torn collar in his hands. The sun was beginning to rise over the stacks of car wrecks. Crowley would never admit to it in his lifetime but he felt a slight pang of regret. Being a Chihuahua hadn’t been all that bad. He looked over to Gabriel, who was looking over at the rising sun, then to Dean, and rolled his eyes over how maudlin he sounded. Just as Dean got up to go inside, there was the sound of an approaching car. 

Sam and Bobby exited the house and watched as a little Jeep came to a stop in front of the house. Crowley raised an eyebrow at Gabriel who laughed.

“Hello there,” Cesar Milan smiled as he got out of his car and asked, “How can I help your dogs?”


End file.
